The irony of this outline of my hatred is that I will receive hatred for it, but trust me, I will explain why that furthers my point a little later.  First, I want to say that my prediction is that in years to come, this will be known as the biggest scam of the decade — and one of the...

I fucking hate this chode, as you all know.  It was his 18th birthday on Sunday (I hate him, I want nothing to do with him, yet I know this pointless shit, and that is one of the major reasons why the hate flows through me), and oh boy, did I celebrate. Celebrate, you ask?  Yes.  Why, you...

I am still trying to figure out why, exactly, it was a good idea at all to stick your entire family — pets included — on the back of your minivan?  A minivan already screams to the rest of us that you’ve spawned children and had to give up a fulfilling life in order to care...

Hint:  We don’t give a shit.  They aren’t our kids (hopefully, paternity test pending).  You clearly know their pictures and videos end up on our news feeds, yet you suggest we “hide you” if we ask you nicely (or with rage) to contain the admiration for when your...

Facebook users:  Stop fucking doing this.  We know you like what you post — you posted it.  Liking it makes you look horribly desperate and pathetic.  Well, it makes you look more horribly desperate and pathetic, since the first clue of your desperation and pathetic nature was the...

I can’t stress enough how much I hate when a guy whose name is synonymous with an anal discharge has to try and fit an entire cone of chocolate soft-serve in his mouth.  What I hate more than it actually happening is the fact that he is oblivious to the humor in it — imagery he...

In a two-year cycle, we have to be inundated with jerk-offs like Rick.  Sanctimonious pricks who think they know better than everyone else.  Old, white men dancing around the racist pole with a black guy who — to their chagrin — hasn’t turned the country into a Communist...

Why does surprising unwitting idiots with fold-out news trailers or flash mobs equal a good marketing idea?  If someone puts a microphone in someone’s face who seems surprised at first, but then starts listing technical specifications and miles per gallon ratings, it’s not just...

Sure, we all can appreciate the artistic license that is granted to those who entertain us.  In fact, we look the other way when a huge, glaring factual error was made in Gladiator, and 300 couldn’t stop with the bullshit, but in recent film, the gap between just creative license and a...

Never have I seen such a paranoid and rumor-induced hysteria in all my life.  It’s amazing with the US, that something so obviously fake can be believed by so many people and expanded and exploited by the only thing non-book-reading, science-hating and clearly terrible high school...

Nothing says “I’m not qualified to do much more than sit at a playground for hours on end and scope out the talent” more than the facial accessory preferred by 9 out of 10 creepy dudes on the Sex Offender Registry.  Herman Cain, whenever I see you smile like that, all I see...

Yeah, this guy.  The one who created MySpace, only to sell it (and our personal information) to NewsCorp two years later.  The guy whose profile picture never fucking changed and who desperately needed your friendship. I know what you’re thinking, that we all should have stopped...